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The Devourer Consumed

skumleren / Nov 11, 2018
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We all believe in some sort of witchcraft or magic. It comes by many names but it is encountered throughout history in virtually all continents. You properly still believe in some kind of witchcraft, even though you might not think it.

Unlike most common understandings, witchcraft and sorcery is not necessarily a belief in a supernatural power, no; witchcraft does not exclude the empirical knowledge about cause and effect, but instead supplement theories of natural causation.

Why did the people die from the collapsing bridge? Sure, the collapse was due to poor building materials, but what made the people be present on the bridge at the exact time it collapsed? - Witchcraft. The rules of the natural world are not broken, merely the coincidences that were changed. Here witchcraft merely serves as a logical explanation for unfortunate events. Somebody wanted them to die!

Ever stood long waiting for an elevator, started spamming the button, and the elevator appeared? Surely it must have worked, because the next time you are waiting on the elevator, you spammed it again. Did your spamming the button really change how the elevator worked or was it your spamming that caused its long overdue arrival? Of course not, you got magical fingers.

Ever seen Balou promoting somebody to officer, without said person quitting the game a few days later? It could be a simple matter of strange coincidences; however our superstition is much more likely come to the conclusion that Balou is some kind of wielder or plague carrier of the dark arts.

The entire guild does indeed seem to have been cursed by something or another, very few things seem to be able to explain the cause and effect of our progression. There has never been a raid cancelled, we are always giving our best, but it works in some strange ways: Wipe 200 million times -> finally kill the boss once -> the boss is now piss easy on farm.

It has been the case with most of the hard bosses so far, and there is no doubt that Fetid Devourer will be no different. If we really were that bad, we should keep wiping hard on farm bosses, but no, 1-2 at max due to penis mis-measurement. However, if we are good enough to redo the so easily next week, why did they require half a genocide to get it down in the first place?

Very few reasonable or logical explanations presents themselves and therefore we must assume it is some sort of witchcraft that makes take so long killing these bosses. Blizzard might have a Voodoo apartment dedicated to nailing the fingers of small puppet representations of us. However, do not externally speculate about what might be internal causes. I am afraid I must call out Minhi and Balou, there is something sketchy about those two. A few days ago, they dragged me down into the officer channel, when I was released the milk in my fridge had gone sour.

I am not calling for a witch hunt, just merely stating that if we had to have one, then at least we would have some candidates.



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